glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize