Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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