It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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