your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize