i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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