what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
