If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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