And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
