im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she peed on how many people?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize