Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
