Where did you get a picture of my penis
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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