Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
