I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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