You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
