Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
