I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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