now i know why i became what i already was.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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