I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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