Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
