Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
