Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
