no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
