Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
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So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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