just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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