so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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