I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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