please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
