why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
