saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize