Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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