part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
