If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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