I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we're making bets on your personal life
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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