I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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