He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
