Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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