my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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