Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My pussy is not your playground.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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