Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
