grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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