So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just google imaged poop.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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