yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
