he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
