I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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