I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm too high and old for this...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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