The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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