No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
