Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
