The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
