I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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