There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize