so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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