I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
