i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
