She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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