Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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