I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize