um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
