What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
