Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
